It’s something I’ve heard about. Something happens and you’re just stunned and can’t talk.  Forgive me. I’ve been fairly quiet on social media (for me!).

I’m having that issue at the minute. I’ve been having a bad time of it. Some personal issues – very long story but over it now. I was feeling much better.

Then last week something terrible happened. People died. It was down the road from where I live. I heard the helicopters and sirens. I didn’t sleep a wink that night.

A fair amount of my friends were there. One of the people who sadly died was friends with a lot of mine. I didn’t know the lad but I’d seen some of his online stuff and it made me laugh lots with the humour. It doesn’t make his death any sadder than

I just haven’t been able to shake the black cloud that’s gone along with it. I can see my friends affected by it and I feel their pain and worry.

I really haven’t been able to vocalise what’s been bothering me. This blog has taken me about 7 different times sitting down and staring at the screen. I’ve also tried to do a #WeStudents video.. I could piece together the start of the videos of me just going “soooo…” and then stopping. It’d be about 20 minutes long.

I’m just a bit stuck at the minute. I’m sure it’ll pass. I hope it does.. I have an essay to write.

I can’t sum up my sorrow for those lost. I can’t sum up my pride in my adopted city.  I can’t sum up my pride for my LGBTQ+ community up and down the country who have mourned together. I just can’t.

I don’t have the words. But thankfully lots of others have. Tony Walsh’s amazing poem “This Is The Place” I heard in person at Albert Square a week today was amazing. If you haven’t – go look for it.

I was at The Eagle this weekend. They have drag shows on Sundays. The queen who was on this week knew Martyn and dedicated this heartfelt performance of one of his favourite pop songs. Here. Have a listen. There were tears. But it did make me feel better. My friends and partner were there and it made me happier. I hope it does for you too.


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